nursery ideas

Who knew boy stuff was so cute! I'm overwhelmed with all of the choices of stuff! So, dear friends and family, please know that I know that our registries (yes, more than one) are full of anything we could ever possibly want. And here's why- after your due date, each store will send me a coupon for a minimum of 10% off everything remaining on my registry. So, I'm working the system and adding everything I could ever think we'd need so I can buy it with a coupon after Little Man's arrival. :) We're registered at Babies R Us, Target, and diapers.com. I have a registry at Wal-mart, only because it's the only store in our town of 3,500 and some people won't order online. 

Here's our ideas for Little Man's room so far:

I have a fetish for antique glass containers and purchase at least one every time I'm in an antique store. I love this idea.

Our Awesome friends, the Fox Family, are creating this little number for us. Not that Pottery Barn doesn't do a great job, but who doesn't love a handmade, heirloom piece?

The crib. I love these convertible ones that will last for years... makes you feel better about spending that kind of money. :)

More bookcases. I love to read, and because he'll have countless books read to him, I assume my little man will like to read too. 

And, if there are books, you need bookends! Aren't these cute?! I don't usually like stuff like this but I HAVE to have these cute little guys. Plus, they coordinate really well with the bedding.

Here's an example of the wall color and the curtains we'll have in there. 

Perhaps Tevie's favorite addition to the room: a la-z-boy recliner. For those early morning feedings and late night snuggles. Plus, it's so much more functional and attractive than those gliders every one puts in their nurseries. After a few years, this piece can easily be moved into the living room. 

Here's the color scheme of his bedding. We didn't do the whole set because I don't like things being overly matchy-matchy. 

And, saving the best for last (Jess, I knew you'd approve). Tevie's brother, Jess, is creating two paintings based on this one I found online. He's going to use our puppies and incorporate the colors of the room. I think this will tie everything together and add just a touch of whimsy and be such a special piece to have as our little guy grows. 

These two pictures have kind of been my inspiration. One is very modern and the other very traditional. I'm hoping we get a balance of both. Both are classic rooms that a little boy can grow up in, you won't be replacing bedding and accessories every few years. 

As long as we don't end up with a room that looks like a Disney World parade threw up in there, I'll be ok. ;)

not my son

My title is stolen from a blog post I read over at Silver Spoon, Paper Plates the other day. Rachel and I have never (and probably will never) met, but I truly value her parenting philosophies... and see a lot of my self in her brainy-reading-researcher-type-A personality. 

She raises some good points about the early sexualization of children. Honestly, it's disgusting. I read an article on MSNBC that stated some other good points. I find it absolutely heartbreaking that young girls (and boys) are being bombarded by images of "perfection" at an earlier and earlier age. 

When we found out we were pregnant, I began wrestling with God and begging for a boy. I was a messed-up heap of self-image issues as a teenager... and honestly, looking back, as a very young girl. I remember as a first grader realizing my legs were thicker than cute little Laramie Moore's. The kids on the bus teased me because my nostrils flared when I laughed. Throw in a relationship with a jerk who said the most defeating things to me day in and day out, and you have a 17-year-old whose warped thinking never sees a skinny girl in the mirror, even at 5'10" and 150 lbs. 

I told God that I couldn't raise a girl. I mean look at me, Lord?! I'm such a mess of self-consciousness and worry, I was afraid my precious little girl would grow up just like me... and that scared me to death. In my current Beth Moore study on the book of Esther, the tagline is "It's tough being a woman" and each week Beth reads real women's statements on what's tough about being a woman. One lady said that it's tough hoping that your daughter will want to grow up to be just like you and wondering if you're worthy of such an honor. After the study that night, I cried my eyes out to God on the way home. I knew that if our sweet baby was a girl, God was going to equip me with the skills I needed to be the best example of confidence, strength and faith she'd ever see. 

Praise the Lord we're having a boy! :) I'm kidding. Honestly though, at first I breathed a sigh of relief because I thought I was off the hook. A boy wouldn't pick up on me complaining daily about my weight, he wouldn't notice me changing clothes 6 times in the morning before work, he wouldn't get his cues about self-esteem and self-image/value from me... but, oh, he will! When that little boy looks at me, he'll see a beautiful mom who works her hardest to love him and provide for him. When he says I'm beautiful and I shoot down his compliment, I make him second-guess what he sees. Perhaps most importantly, what he sees in me may very well be what he deems "normal"... oh my, is that not scary! 

My sweet hubby came into marriage thinking every women shaved her legs everyday, made amazing pork shoulder on the grill, could mow the lawn, feed the cows and still dress to the nines on a date with her husband. And then he married me- a woman who has no desire to learn how to run a zero-turn mower (or perform any kind of manual labor, for that matter) and thinks I'm doing pretty good when I shave twice a week. :)

God is showing me very quickly that being a parent is tough, no matter the sex of the child. I have been given the responsibility of training him in the ways of the Lord, instilling in him a love of scripture, serving others and loving his family. When he watches Tevie and I he will learn how a man should treat his wife and how to be a leader in his household. And, I pray, when he looks at me he sees what a godly, loving momma looks like... I'm terrified and excited at the same time.

Watching Tinker Bell's hemline get shorter and Bell's waist get curvier infuriates me not only because my son, if I don't teach him otherwise, will grow up thinking that's normal, but because there are six precious little girls whose purity and self-image I value and I hate that the enemy is already trying to take that away from them. It's also infuriating because the images the media put out are unattainable. No one looks like that in real life. Cindy Crawford is quoted as saying she wished she looked like Cindy Crawford.

I'll leave you with this quote from Rachel at Silver Spoon, Paper Plates:

"Ultimately those unnaturally airbrushed ads are not so innocent attempts to steal our girls.  To steal their confidence and to steal their potential.  Let me be clear to the advertisers who create it, to the designers who put tragically thin models on the runway, to the society who finds beauty in this madness:  when it comes to my daughter [my son or the little girls I love], you can't have her."

spoiled

Why, yes, that is my spoiled rotten diva snuggled under a blanket on this cold, rainy day. Can't say I blame her. :)

the name game

The other day I came across this article on BabyCenter.com. Now that we know Baby G is a baby boy, the naming game is in full force. We’re pretty sure we’ve narrowed it down but can’t bring ourselves to announce it publicly… or really even call him by name. Tevie says he’d like to wait until he’s born to make it “official”. Hopefully when we see his precious face we’ll know for certain that we’ve chosen the right name. Here are the highlights from the article and things we’ve been talking over the last couple days.

1. No strange nickname/last name combos. When you shortened his name and combine it with our last name, we don't want something awful like "Hava Gooden". I can't tell you how many times a week I hear, "Have a Gooden. Get it? Have a good one. Ha ha ha!" Really, people, not funny anymore. Another old one? "If your name's Tevie is your brother VCR? Ha ha ha!" Again, really not funny anymore.

2. No weird initials. We don't want his name to spell out anything that could bring ridicule in elementary school. 

3. No lifetime of corrections! Numero UNO on the list of parents named Tevie and Allysa. When you say his name I want people to #1) understand it and #2) be able to spell it. As it is, in this region you have to clarify that you're Gooden with an E not with an I. And apparently I don't enunciate well because on the phone people always think I'm saying "Goodman". Since he'll be spelling his last name his entire life, I at least want his first name to be manageable.

4. Not terribly popular. We want unique without being weird, while fulfilling the criteria above. The names we've chosen haven't been in the top 300 (or even 900) in nearly a decade.  

5. No weird sibling pairings. One mom in the article said she liked the name Ella for her yet-to-be-born daughter... until she realized that when paired with her big brother, Sam, she'd be screaming, "Salmonella, come here!" Obviously, not a problem for us yet... unless we holler for Baby G and the dogs at the same time. :)

6. No humiliating email address. My most beloved professor at LWC is named Gerald Chafin. Because of the way we do email addresses  at good ol' LW, his email is "chafing". Just another thing to think about when choosing names. :)

7. When you google it, what pops up? For a while we threw around Taylor Dane, until someone told us he was an 80's pop star. So, now we google name options to see what comes up. Obviously, if the first thing is a porn website or news articles about a convicted felon, we cross that name off the list. So far, when you search the varying combos of the name we like you get a bunch of articles and information about a professor from Rutgers, a bunch of ancestry/family tree sites for men with a similar name, and a ministry in Morganton, NC. Nothing that brings cause for concern.

Naming your child carries so much more anxiety than I could have ever imagined! It's his name FOREVER! Thankfully, the Lord already knows his name, the number of hairs on his precious little head, who he'll marry, what he'll major in in college, how tall he'll be and a host of other things I'd give anything to know! When I get overwhelmed by bedding, car seat, stroller, cloth diaper and other choices, I think back to the whole naming thing... and suddenly those don't seem like such a big deal. All of those things can be replaced... the Social Security Administration will start to think I am off my rocker (rightly so) if I'm sending in name change forms every six months.

Have my other mommy friends had this much trouble... or anxiety? :)

this is the stuff You use

Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to stop and say, "Are you serious?!" Totally my day today. 

I so enjoy enjoy waking up on crisp spring mornings. When my alarm goes off at 5:45am, Binx and I get up and head to the kitchen. He goes outside and I get my cup of coffee. Pregnancy Police, don't judge me. One cup of morning coffee is okay by my doctor! We then snuggle back in bed and read the Bible. Well, I read. Binx is a dog and dogs can't read, duh. :)

Today we're enjoying beautiful, cloud-free spring weather in the 60's. Tevie went to lunch with a couple of his buddies so I decided to spend my lunch break running a few errands. First stop was for some lunch. I pull up to the drive-thru window at Burger King and order my hamburger with NO mayonnaise and NO cheese. You have to say "mayonnaise" around here because apparently "mayo" sounds too much like "mater" (tomato) and you end up with gobs of the yucky white stuff and no tomatoes on your sandwich. I pick up my order at the window and not only is the UNsweet tea I ordered sweet, my burger has mayo on it. So, I pass it back through the window. The sweet little girl hands me back an unsweet tea (thank you!)... and a burger with no mayo, now it has cheese. Rather than holding up the line, I go inside and, as Jesus-like as possible (I think), ask for a what I ordered in the first place. Finally correct! 

I eat my little lunch in the solitude of my car with Chris Tomlin playing and enjoying the warm breeze. I make a mental list of what I need from the big blue monster and head inside. Now, I know, I KNOW, that people mean to compliment me when they say, "You're not even showing yet!"... however, this pregnant lady does not take it as such. What I hear is that I have always looked 18lbs overweight with a little something hanging over the top of jeans. "Kind of!" I say for the 15th million time and roll my cart passed this well-meaning friend because it's not worth going through the details of how he's big enough that I feel him moving all day and I'm in nothing but maternity clothes.

At home, I unload my groceries and let the puppies outside. They bark to come in not thirty seconds after I turn my back. Elphie is standing with two feet on the threshold when I unsnap her collar so she can come in... and she bolts 90mph through the backyard chasing after Lord knows what. The fastest way to catch her is to get in the car and make her think she's going somewhere with you. So, I get in the truck and roll through the neighborhood. I spot her about three houses down. When she sees me and the truck, she bolts again. I am chasing my dog in my SUV, door wide open, yelling for her to come when I think to myself, "Are you serious?!" What a lunch break!

I don't think I've ever been more ready to get back to my office. I'm laughing as I drive back to work... really, just to keep from crying. I started thinking through my day and talking to God. I didn't pray for patience this morning, Lord. So why have you given me so many tests today!... and then, a gentle voice whispers to my heart, "here's the bigger question, Allysa... did you pass them?" Did the little girl at Burger King see a Christian kindly asking for another sandwich? Or did she see a snotty lady throwing a fit? Did my well-intentioned friend at the store see a gracious pregnant lady or a short, ill-tempered brat? Did my retired neighbors (no doubt peering out their windows) see the sweet neighbor girl chasing her monster dog or did they see a beastly owner and understand why the dog ran away in the first place. Ha. That last one made me laugh... I was so mad at her, and she knew what was coming, I can't say I blame Elphie for running! 


I think that satan tries desperately to put our little candles out. Today I feel like he's walking beside me handing me a bushel and saying, "You don't have to hide it forever, just let me hold it for you. I'll hide it right under here while you deal with these people who don't understand you, and you can come pick it back up when you're through with them." And instead of saying, "NO! I'm gonna let it shine!" we I say, "Hey, thanks buddy. I'll be right back for that." 


Francesca Battistelli has a song out right now called "This is the stuff you use". It came to mind when I was driving back to work. 

"This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

 Boy oh boy, did I ever need that reminder today! Here's the scripture I think I am going to work on memorizing for the next two weeks. It comes from James 5:7-

"Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains."

 Tevie and I are praying for a bunch of things right now... and if we aren't patient and wait for the Lord to answer, open doors, shut doors and shower His provision we will miss out some huge blessings. This section of scripture goes on to say in 5:11b, 

"You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about." 

Did you catch that. We see what the Lord FINALLY brought about. Not quickly, not hurriedly, not immediately... finally. I wish I could put God to the clock and make him work in my time. I have a nursery to decorate, a child to name, plans to be made, a new car that I would love to have that won't sit on that lot forever! But if I am the one making the decisions, I will never feel fulfilled. I'm staying all this because I need to hear it, but I hope it blesses you today too. After all, we could all use a little more patience, right?


Lord, today I pray for clarity and, because I have a feeble human mind, a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night would be really helpful! I pray for forgiveness when I don't shine the light of your love as bright as I know I am called to and I pray for the opportunity to serve your people better tomorrow than I did today. 


Much love
--Allysa

week 17

Hello, week 17! This week I'm finally  loving being pregnant. I'm feeling little flutters and brushing my teeth without getting nauseous! Huge progress. :)

Saturday night we went to see "Mamma Mia!" in Louisville with an alumni group from LWC. Little Man apparently loves the music of Abba. It was during the show that I felt movement that had to be from his dancing. I still haven't had a bonafide, "you now have my attention" kick, but he's definitely movin' and shakin'. 

Here's a picture update of week 17. I wish you didn't have to give up maternity jeans after having the baby. I am in love with elastic waistbands. :) Excuse the Sunday-afternoon messy hair and lack of make-up... and that double chin?! Where did THAT come from? 

snips and snails and puppy dog tails

Baby G is a BOY! 

On Tuesday we went in for our monthly appointment. After all of the typical fetal heartbeat, mom's blood pressure and weight stuff, Dr. Crosslin comes in and asks us a few questions. He signs my slip and tells me he'll see me next month, then looks down at his watch. He says, "Come across the hall and let's take a peek." Tevie and I weren't expecting an ultrasound today and when we told Dr. Crosslin that he said, "Well I've got a few minutes to kill before I pick my daughter up from swim practice." 

He had to turn the machine on and we eagerly waited for it to warm up. Tevie asked if he could tell the sex at 16 weeks. The doctor said he could but to "keep your receipts" because he doesn't make any promises. :)

The first picture he took was this one. How cool is it that you can see the little bones in his arm and leg!

  

He drew a little a arrow and told us to look there. Then he said, "That's a boy!" At which point Tevie may have passed out in the floor from excitement! :) He snapped the following pictures that show that our little man apparently isn't afraid to strut his stuff in front of the camera! :)

Those two little circles all the way to the right are the umbilical cord. We could see it pulsating on the ultrasound. So cool!

We'll do the "official" ultrasound on March 14 at our 20week appointment, but the resounding word from the doc (and the evidence in the pictures) shows we're welcoming a SON!

Thankfully we have nearly 24 more weeks to decide on a name. We both really like Spencer Perry. Spencer is Tevie's brother's middle name and my great grandfather's name (as well as my grandmother's name) was Perry. So both hold a special place in our hearts. 

Don't go monogramming anything yet, Kristin! The jury's still out! 

Much love,

--Allysa

"Moore" wisdom from Wanda Beth

Corny title, I know. PS: Did you know that Beth Moore's first name is Wanda? She totally doesn't look like a Wanda, does she? I love reading her blog at blog.lproof.org. She and her daughters are filled with wisdom and there's always a little nugget to take away. Today, this jumped off the page at me:

"God’s grace really is sufficient and He really does meet all our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. As much as we want to see all that manna heaped up in a mountain of provision a week in advance alongside those upcoming demands, His promise in Philippians 4:19 is to meet each one AT THE TIME WE NEED IT. Thank You, Lord. If we could learn to live in this present moment with this present provision, oh, man, life would be so much less stressful, wouldn’t it?"

This type-A planner would love nothing more than flashy neon signs and sneak peeks at the provisions God has in store. But if we knew what was ahead it wouldn't be called faith.  

I'm still plugging along trying to memorize a scripture every two weeks. To be honest, I'm not doing so hot. I can paraphrase what it says by the end of that time, but I get no where near memorizing. I am carrying that cute little book around though and I pull it out and read my memory verse each day... or so. Ugh, that's probably the problem! I do find the more time I spend in the Word the easier it is to think good things. My verse for Feb 1-14 was Philippians 2:14-15: "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky."

I definitely cheated and read that straight from my book. :( That verse has been so good for me the past few weeks as my hormones are kind of out of control and I sometimes say the first thing that pops into my head. Ooops. It's so hard not to grumble when you're tired of snow, heartburn and exhaustion. Christ set us apart from this world- to be not of it, but transformed. Nothing would make me happier than to hear people say that I am a positive, pure Child of God who doesn't grumble or argue. Maybe Phil 2:14-15 should remain my memory verse for a little while longer! :)

Today we pick up a new verse. James 2:12-13 says, "Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment." Another verse to encourage me to think before I speak. I need a daily reminder that my sins are no purer than my neighbor's. The Word says that we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God. Each day we are bombarded by people's judgments. A few weeks ago I heard a professing Christian call a well-known gay man the most awful derogatory name. And I thought to myself, "Thank you, fellow Christian. Thanks for being like Jesus. You're following his example in John 8 when the religious leaders bring an adulterous woman to him and Jesus looks at her and calls her a whore." Of course, if you've read John 8 or any part of the Gospels you know that was NOT the way of the Lord. 

Don't we all do that though? If even in some small way? We think our sins are somehow better than those of others. If you haven't gotten your hands on Radical by David Platt, you definitely should. In reading it I have been so convicted to study the Bible deeper and attempt everyday to follow Jesus' example.  And let me just say, it's HARD. But praise Jesus, it's doable! I'll never be perfect but I'm not who I was.

I could keep ranting on this subject... I've got another post working in my head on what I've gleaned from Radical so far.

16 week baby check-up today! Prayers are coveted and updates later!

--Allysa

baby news

Since some of our dearest family and friends are spread from California to Florida, I figured the best way to share in our journey to parenthood would be to post pictures and stories here.

I've read a lot of blogs by moms who don't care share stuff on facebook where there's a chance that some random kid you went to third grade with would see and comment on your pregnancy update for your beloved aunt in California. Of course, that could happen here as well, but since we only have 14 followers and most of them are family, the chances are slim. 

So, to my beloved family and friends from coast to coast. Here's an update on Baby G. Tomorrow we head to the doctor for our 16week appointment. Another routine, in-and-out in twenty minutes kind of visit... but next month is THE BIG ONE! Hopefully on or around March 14 we'll know what color to buy for this little one. 

I've not been so good with the belly pictures... mostly because I don't think there's really anything to look at yet. But here's our progression so far.  (and bonus points to anyone who can tell me why they keep uploading sideways!)

12 Weeks

13 weeks

 15 weeks

This is the bathroom in my office building. This particular morning we had a temp of -3 and 6inches of snow on the ground. Hence the ponytail and jeans. 

I was so hoping I would be one of those who loved every second of being pregnant... the first trimester and all it's nausea seemed to linger forever. Life in the second trimester is so much better... aside from all of the uncontrollable crying and sore back. :) I still don't know how women do this more than once. 

I read so much it's probably unhealthy. Ha. Tevie said I start every sentence with, "I read today that...". But when it's your first, how else are you going to learn?! I am totally amazed at just how awesome God is. How He creates life from almost nothing. Babies truly are miracles and I feel blessed beyond measure that in some small way He lets women assist in this particular miracle. 

More updates to come!

--Allysa

service through words

Since our board president stepped down in December, I have the privilege of writing the articles in our pregnancy center's monthly newsletter. Since I usually have something floating around in my head, I happily accepted this challenge...er, ministry. :) 

I wanted to share these articles with you in hopes that you'll join me in praying for this ministry. There is a false idea that ministries should struggle. That it's not ministry if you have budget surpluses and enough staff. I disagree. But we're struggling to overcome this stereotype. I hope you find the following articles encouraging. Check out our website at www.agapehouseprc.com for more information.

January 2011

It is with great joy that I write to you this month! One doesn’t have to be a part of the Agape House PRC for very long to see all of the amazing things God is doing in the lives of His people.

While Agape House is ready for the good things 2011 will bring, I can’t help but think about the Christmas season we just celebrated. Each day at Agape House we have the privilege of seeing God’s light shine through the faces of precious children and babies. I will be the first to admit that God laid it upon my heart to serve in this ministry months before I finally obeyed and joined this amazing group of volunteers. Through His word he showed me time and time again that He is passionate for these mothers, fathers, and children.  I find such peace in knowing that our God has a special place in His heart for babies born in less than perfect circumstances. How do I know this? His very own son entered the world on the floor of a stable, through the womb of a teenager and in the presence of a carpenter. He wasn’t expected. Our glorious king and savior, born as a tiny baby, laid in a dirty manger, wrapped in rags… and loved more than life itself by his faithful, God-fearing parents. Out of mess came the Messiah.

It brings me such great joy to know that our great God, who used that tiny baby to change the world, still uses children to touch our hearts and change our lives. God is at work in the lives of the mothers, fathers, and children served by Agape House. While they may find themselves in less than perfect circumstances, God is weaving each detail of their precious lives into a beautiful tapestry. Sometimes that’s hard to see when we are looking up at the tangled mess that is the backside of that masterpiece. Because God is always faithful and always good, we know that as we strive to serve Him and obey His will, the blessings will be more than our feeble human hands can hold.

Psalm 65:11 is the memory verse I have chosen to begin this New Year. The New Living Translation reads, “You crown the year with a bountiful harvest; even the hardest pathways overflow with abundance.” This is my prayer for you this year- that even when the pathway is hard, you are blessed beyond measure. Please join me in praying this same prayer for the children, families and volunteers of Agape House. Thank you for your continued support of our ministry.

February 2011

As we prepare for the final full month of winter, I find great happiness in knowing our furry little groundhog friend predicted an early spring. While we rejoice in the God’s beautiful creation and the purity of freshly fallen snow, it’s encouraging to look forward to the promise of spring and the new life it brings.

For many, February means roses, sappy cards and chocolate. One of my favorite Valentine’s Day traditions is poking my way through a big box of chocolates. Come on, now, we all do it! In fear of getting the yucky mystery- fluff-filled one, you poke your thumb through the bottom of each one, looking for sweet caramel gooeyness.  Wouldn’t life be easier if we could do that with people? What if we could see what’s inside of them before we get involved? There would be a lot less heartbreak if we could pass people through an x-ray and see their sour core before getting attached.

Do you know the beautiful thing about God’s grace though? He uses those relationships, the people who hurt us, and every poor decisions to bring us good. He promises that He “causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28 NLT).” Everything. Every triumph, every good thing, every poor decision, every stumbling block. Everything is used to bring him Glory. What peace there is in believing that truth!

Each day, the staff at Agape House Pregnancy Resource Center serves men, women and families who need to hear this truth. Our volunteers bring hope to the hopeless and light to the darkness by sharing the message of God’s love with dozens of people on a weekly basis. Many of our clients wouldn’t choose to be in the position in which they currently find themselves. Maybe right now you can say the same for yourself. Take comfort in knowing that our Great God will always be glorified and is always, always near to the broken hearted. What satan intends for destruction, God uses to construct a new life, a new hope and a new joy.

Before you dig into that box of chocolates next week, thank God for not just using the sweet ones, but the mystery-fluff-filled ones too! This month, we’re praying for you right where you are. Please prayer for the mission, ministry, volunteers and families at Agape House.

in His service,

Allysa