Monday, June 18, 2012

for sale

The calendar says it's been almost six months since I wrote about the heartache I was having over listing our home. I can't believe that much time has past. 

I wrote about how much I love the memories we've made in this home and about how we've worked to make into a comfortable place to raise our family. I agonized over the perfect shade of grey for Dane's room. I painted the front door bright red against my husband's advice. But even he liked it once we were finished. I've broken nails and ruined manicures landscaping the yard-- planting bushes, placing rocks, and keeping it free of weeds (for the most part-- I hate picking weeds!). We could feel God calling us to lay our home before Him. That if we wanted to follow Him we needed to live obediently and in order to do that we HAD to listen when He spoke. 

He put the story of Abraham and Isaac in front me time and time again. I clung to it. I clung to the fact that He had tested Abraham's faith, yes, but He had also given Abraham a ram in the bushes and that He would provide the very same thing for us too. So we listed... and we've waited. 

The Lord has a very funny way of making things work in my life. Having the blessing of staying home with Dane came after a very humbling experience. I prayed, He moved. But in the middle of that He wanted to be sure I learned something too. Six months into this house thing, I think we're back in school and learning something else. 

When this house went on the market I didn't want to leave. I cried big, giant tears as I mopped the hardwood floors by hand. I ached in my heart as I dusted the little toys on Dane's shelf. I moped through the yard picking weeds and setting up the furniture on the deck so it would be picture-perfect when the realtor arrived. I knew God was calling us to be faithful, but I didn't want to leave my home. 

And a funny thing happened on our journey to selling our first home. I wanted to get rid of it. I was eager to leave it behind. I realized that selling my home didn't mean I had to sell the memories we'd made it in. THOSE come with us... and my drapes and washer/dryer would too. It was exciting to think about the opportunities waiting for us. A new place to call home. 

That's when I heard it... A quiet little noise that sounded vaguely like a ram caught in the bushes.  

So as God continues to provide for us in HUGE ways, I am beginning to wonder if He tested us to prove us faithful. And if so, what a blessing that is-- that the Lord has faith enough in me that He would stretch me further than I thought I could stretch so that when blessings come my way I am all the more appreciative for them.  Man, He is good, isn't He? 

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