Tuesday, October 25, 2011

working mama

"Awww, mom! Whaddya mean ya gotta go to work?!"

"Work? Does that mean I have to go back to spending the day in that stupid crate?"

Trust me, boys, you're not the only one who is grateful mama is only working for a few more days! After a week of getting myself up, feeding dogs and cats, trying to find a few minutes for quiet time, getting ready, pumping bottles, nursing a baby, staying up at night with said-baby, and THEN going to work on a limited amount of caffeine so as not to feed my three month old caffeinated breast milk I am BEAT! I have a whole new respect for working mamas! It's a tough job. And I haven't even bothered keeping the house clean because I know I can get to it next week. I don't know how you mama's do it, but you deserve a big, shiny medal and a day at the spa! 

My AMAZING mommy spent last week with us. I wish I would have taken some pictures! She not only kept the sweet boy happy all day, she cooked and cleaned for us! I'll tell ya, you develop a whole new depth of love for your parents when you become a parent yourself! This week, Dane's Gooden Grandma (Momma D) is hanging out with him. This is how I left them yesterday morning:

You know you're husband is amazing and incredibly supportive when he's the one to say, "Yay! No formula!" upon hearing Dane only needed the bottles of breastmilk I left for him. My dad sent me this picture of me this week. I guess The Boy does look a little like his momma, doesn't he?

 Last night, for the first time in, oh, I don't know, a YEAR, I had a quiet night at home with time to myself. Tevie went to a friend's house to watch the Cards' pitiful attempt to play in a World Series game, Dane was asleep by 7:30 and that left me, my bathtub, a book and a glass of wine. Ahhhh, pure bliss. However, after one chapter of The Whole in Our Gospel and I was snuggled in bed with my little boy. My heart aches for the millions of mommas around the world who cannot give their babies food or water when they hunger or thirst. I held Dane and cried because I can't imagine the ache I would feel knowing I couldn't give him what he needed. Then I prayed that every baby in the world would drift off to sleep, if just for one night, feeling as comfortable and as loved as my sweet boy does.  When my precious boy was wide awake at 2am with no intentions of going back to sleep I laid hands on him and prayed in Jesus' name that he would go back to sleep. No, I'm not kidding! :)

Last night I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing life God has given me. I have a husband who is not only handsome, loving and kind, he is a faithful steward of the blessings God has given us and the strong, purposeful spiritual leader of our family. My precious baby boy is perfect in every way and some days I feel as though my heart could explode because it's so full of love. November 1 I begin a job I've dreamed about and hoped for as I have the privilege of spending my days playing peek-a-boo in the floor, wiping spit bubbles of a chubby little chin and singing "Jesus Loves Me" until we're both tired of it. I wouldn't trade even the hardest days of our marriage for anything in the world. Truth be told, I'm a bit fearful as we jump (notice I didn't say "step") out on faith and watch God provide for us-- already-- in ways I didn't expect. And why didn't I expect them? Didn't I say I trust Him to provide exactly what we need when we need it? Yet when He comes through in a mighty way, I throw my hands up in the air and say, "That's amazing! I can't believe it!" I feel like the man in Mark 9 who comes to Jesus asking him to heal his son. He says, in effect, "I believe, Lord, but help me not to doubt." 

"Momma it's cold outside!"
Today I'm so thankful for blessings that don't make any sense by the world's standards. Help me not to doubt, Lord.

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