working mama

"Awww, mom! Whaddya mean ya gotta go to work?!"

"Work? Does that mean I have to go back to spending the day in that stupid crate?"

Trust me, boys, you're not the only one who is grateful mama is only working for a few more days! After a week of getting myself up, feeding dogs and cats, trying to find a few minutes for quiet time, getting ready, pumping bottles, nursing a baby, staying up at night with said-baby, and THEN going to work on a limited amount of caffeine so as not to feed my three month old caffeinated breast milk I am BEAT! I have a whole new respect for working mamas! It's a tough job. And I haven't even bothered keeping the house clean because I know I can get to it next week. I don't know how you mama's do it, but you deserve a big, shiny medal and a day at the spa! 

My AMAZING mommy spent last week with us. I wish I would have taken some pictures! She not only kept the sweet boy happy all day, she cooked and cleaned for us! I'll tell ya, you develop a whole new depth of love for your parents when you become a parent yourself! This week, Dane's Gooden Grandma (Momma D) is hanging out with him. This is how I left them yesterday morning:

You know you're husband is amazing and incredibly supportive when he's the one to say, "Yay! No formula!" upon hearing Dane only needed the bottles of breastmilk I left for him. My dad sent me this picture of me this week. I guess The Boy does look a little like his momma, doesn't he?

 Last night, for the first time in, oh, I don't know, a YEAR, I had a quiet night at home with time to myself. Tevie went to a friend's house to watch the Cards' pitiful attempt to play in a World Series game, Dane was asleep by 7:30 and that left me, my bathtub, a book and a glass of wine. Ahhhh, pure bliss. However, after one chapter of The Whole in Our Gospel and I was snuggled in bed with my little boy. My heart aches for the millions of mommas around the world who cannot give their babies food or water when they hunger or thirst. I held Dane and cried because I can't imagine the ache I would feel knowing I couldn't give him what he needed. Then I prayed that every baby in the world would drift off to sleep, if just for one night, feeling as comfortable and as loved as my sweet boy does.  When my precious boy was wide awake at 2am with no intentions of going back to sleep I laid hands on him and prayed in Jesus' name that he would go back to sleep. No, I'm not kidding! :)

Last night I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing life God has given me. I have a husband who is not only handsome, loving and kind, he is a faithful steward of the blessings God has given us and the strong, purposeful spiritual leader of our family. My precious baby boy is perfect in every way and some days I feel as though my heart could explode because it's so full of love. November 1 I begin a job I've dreamed about and hoped for as I have the privilege of spending my days playing peek-a-boo in the floor, wiping spit bubbles of a chubby little chin and singing "Jesus Loves Me" until we're both tired of it. I wouldn't trade even the hardest days of our marriage for anything in the world. Truth be told, I'm a bit fearful as we jump (notice I didn't say "step") out on faith and watch God provide for us-- already-- in ways I didn't expect. And why didn't I expect them? Didn't I say I trust Him to provide exactly what we need when we need it? Yet when He comes through in a mighty way, I throw my hands up in the air and say, "That's amazing! I can't believe it!" I feel like the man in Mark 9 who comes to Jesus asking him to heal his son. He says, in effect, "I believe, Lord, but help me not to doubt." 

"Momma it's cold outside!"

Today I'm so thankful for blessings that don't make any sense by the world's standards. Help me not to doubt, Lord.

natural cesarean

I have often said that I don't apologize for having a scheduled c-section with Dane. However, I am all too aware that I missed out on some very special parts of delivering your first-born baby. I never saw my slimy, fresh-from-the-womb little boy. In fact, I didn't see him until he was rubbed clean and wrapped in a blanket, and I didn't get to hold him until he'd been bathed and spent some time in the nursery under observation.

I came across this incredible video today. If you are looking at a c-section as a possibility, I would recommend watching this. I sat and cried my eyes out! I will definitely search far and wide for a doctor who will perform a "natural cesarean" if/when there is a Baby Gooden #2-- even if it means traveling to the UK! Dane had some trouble with rapid breathing after birth and I believe that if we had been given the option of skin-to-skin he may have figured out his breathing a little faster. I am blessed that we had no trouble with breastfeeding even after being separated for four hours.

I do not doubt at all God's plan for Dane's birth. I don't feel as though we have a "weaker" bond because he didn't travel the birth canal, however I am so glad to see that doctors are trying to make even c-sections a more holistic experience.

tales of cloth diapering

There's always that one weirdo in the crowd. The one who has zany parenting techniques and hair-brained ideas for how she's going to raise her kid. You know the one. The exclusively breastfeeding, co-sleeping (sometimes), cloth diapering, baby food making kinda parent? We don't have one in our circle of friends... oh wait... it's ME!!! Shouldn't I be barefoot and pregnant in my kitchen wearing lots of denim?! I hate that stereotype, thank you very much. I'm here to break the mold. 

I used to make jokes about parents just like me. Oh, the irony. Some of you are glad I'm admitting it because you've been talking about me for the last twelve weeks.  :) We did a ton of reading and research before Dane was born. I have been blessed to have a husband who supports me and we are in agreement on everything we do and decisions we make for Dane. In fact, in those weak, tired moments when I was at my wits end with breastfeeding he was the one telling me step away from the can of formula because I was a "trooper" and I could "do this". :) While he has yet to change a cloth diaper (I think. Mostly because he's away at work during the day) he's even on board with that decision. 


I had no idea there was so much information and so many different types of cloth diapers. We use some pockets, mostly Gdiapers and soon I'm adding prefolds (or flats) to the mix because I feel like I'm constantly running out of diapers! I'm loving this whole thing so far. First, knowing that we are saving a FORTUNE not buying disposables is wonderful- especially since we are transitioning to one income. Second, and, for me, the greatest thing, is that we won't be filling landfills with nasty plastic diapers that don't decompose. Gdiapers says on their website that if Christopher Columbus had worn disposables they would STILL be sitting in a landfill. That's a looooong time for something to sit and not rot... which makes me weary about putting it on my sweet boy's tiny bottom.


The G's we bought were a little big and needed Dane to grow into them so we have used disposables off and on since he was born. At home during the day I would use the just-a-bit-too-large G's because a leak (and the outfit change- for both of us!- that ensued after the leak) wasn't a big deal. When we were out though or especially before bed, we used disposables. I have yet to try cloth overnight... I've been reading on how to double up so you don't have to deal with soaked jammies and sheets every morning. The Boy is a heavy wetter... this may take some trial and error. 


When using cloth it took a little extra effort to separate the disposable wipes for the trash can and the diapers for my wet bag. So, I decided to try cloth wipes. I'm already doing the laundry. What's a few rags thrown in there going to hurt? 


Mostly I see people using flannel scraps or cutting up receiving blankets for cloth wipes. We got soooooo many little washcloths from baby showers that I knew we'd never need them. So, I kept the cute patterned or embroidered ones for bathtime and re-purposed all of the other ones for cloth wipes. Here's how I make a batch:

 I have a few of those big wipe tubs laying around and they are already made with an easy-open top and seal to keep things moist. 

 

After researching solutions, I decided to opt for just plain ol' olive oil and the bath wash I'm already using for Dane. Add two (2) tablespoons (roughly) of each to 2-4 cups of hot water. Hot water helps the soap to dissolve and the oil to blend. 

The amount of water you use varies depending on how moist you like the wipes. I started with two but they weren't wet enough for me. I think about 3.5 cups is best. If the wipes are too wet, I use a spare to pat Dane's bottom dry before I put his diaper one. I have handy little coffee mixer that works great for getting the oil, soap and water blended really well. 

Finally, fold a stack of washcloths width-wise and place a few at a time in the container adding some of the wipe solution. I find this works best to get the solution evenly distributed across all the wipes.The top wipe usually ends up a little frothy from the soap suds that settle in the mixing bowl.

That's it! We go through these pretty fast so I haven't had any problems with mildew or funny smells yet. 


For washing diapers and wipes, I run a sanitary cycle with a soak and extra hot water rinse on my HE washer. We use Thirsties Diaper wash and I use less than the recommended amount, mostly because I'm terrified of build up and having to strip my diapers. Then we take the load outside to air dry because I love the fresh smell AND the sunshine naturally bleaches any stains and kills odor-causing bacteria! BTW: not sure what I'm going to do this winter because winters in KY are AWFUL with little sunshine and LOTS of wet weather. In three months of doing this we haven't had a single problem! I love that I'm doing something good for the planet and my Boy's bottom. I mean if given the choice, you wouldn't choose plastic, chemical-filled underwear over breathable, cotton ones, right? :)


I'm insanely germophobic. In fact, my hands are hurting right now because I have washed/germX-ed so much since I've been back to work because I'm afraid I'll bring some weird germ home that will make Dane sick. So, if I, the germophobe who washes her dog's kennel blankets and the couch throw blankets once a week and refuses to sleep in something that she wore out of the house for fear of getting germs in her bed, can cloth diaper, any one can... you don't have to say it. I'm worried about how much I'll love cloth diapering after we introduce solids. Hopefully I'm in the routine and take the new elements (or should I say eliminations?) of CDing with grace. 

clean and carefree in his Gdiaper

Never have I ever...

You know the old games we played as kids. "Never have I ever fill-in-the-blank", usually the goofier and more creative you can be the more fun the game is. I have fond memories of playing this game with my cousins in Wisconsin when we were teens. At that point in our lives my cousin James and I had our eyes set on the best music schools in the country and we spent the week giving each other a hard time about who was a better musician... or had a higher ACT score. Come to think of it, the only thing I beat him at was the ACT score. :)

Even before you conceive your first child, or even think about having children, you start playing a new game, "Never will I ever", and you begin making a mental list of these "I'll nevers" and store it away for that day in the distant future when your imaginary children finally become a reality. Oh please, like you don't have a list. Here's the list I had working in my mind before I joined the mommy club. Never will I ever:

1. use a paci as a plug on a screaming baby in a public place

2. let my baby sleep in my bed

3. use cloth diapers

4. prefer cloth diapers over disposables

5. take my baby out of his car seat while driving down the road (I do not make a habit of this, however, desperate times call for desperate measures!)

6. use TV as a baby sitter

7. introduce solids before 6 months

8. let a stranger or someone with germy hands touch my baby

9. let the dogs lick my baby

10. give up hygiene and my sense of style because of the baby

Aaaaand we'll stop there because it's just getting embarrassing now. The strikethroughs are the ones that have already grown wings and flown out the window in Dane's first 12 weeks of life. I'm learning, painfully and slowly, that some things are just simply out of our control. I know! It came as a shock to me too! Whose idea was that any way?

One of these days I will write So Long, Judgment: a First-time Mom's Guide to Surviving the Newborn Phase. Thankfully we have survived the newborn phase and finally figured each other out. I read a mom-blog the other day where the author was talking about the subject. She rattled off her list of nevers and said: "My future self was laughing her butt off when pre-parenthood me made statements about what I was and was not going to do as a mother. Laughing. Her butt off." The author did not say butt, btw. I couldn't help but laugh because I now laugh my tail off about the things I said pre-parenthood. 

One thing I wasn't ever worried about was nursing, especially nursing in public. I think breastfeeding is one of the coolest things a woman can do. How amazing is it that your body makes something that can sustain a life? If you're expecting or planning on kids in the future, please, please give nursing your best shot. It is HARD, truly the hardest thing I've ever done, I mean it's no easy task being someone's life source! (That being said, babies grow healthy and strong on formula too!) I had no idea there was such a taboo about nursing in public? I tend to blame it on the area in which we live, being a very rural, always-behind-the-times kinda place, however, after reading numerous mommy blogs and other articles, it seems to be a universal thing. Not only do I find it hurtful, I think it is absolutely ludicrous that Americans are fine with a billboard of a nearly-naked woman hanging in Times Square, but a woman discreetly nursing in public is frowned upon. I'll step off my soapbox for now (though there might just be more on this topic later), but I will leave you with two articles (here and here) that express my sentiments. I'm usually not one to "advocate" for anything but this really frosts my cookies. :)

And finally, yesterday was my first day back to work. I'm not sure if it was knowing that I only have TWO WEEKS (!!!) left or knowing that our boy was snug as a bug in a rug at home with his Granna, but my first day wasn't bad at all, and today has started off pretty good too. He pretty much refused to nap and was asleep by about 7:30 last night and slept until 4:30 this morning! Yay, Dane! :) I snapped this before that chubby ducky fell asleep in my arms last night.

He is a drooly mess these days. This weekend I gave my husband a haircut, per his request. It's okay to cry, I did. Why do guys hate fixing their hair? Tevie's was so beautiful! If Dane has his daddy's dark curls, he is NEVER getting a haircut. :)

As always, more pictures of the sweetest baby ever.

One reason I am beyond grateful to stay at home is because I am all too aware that before I realize it those chubby little cheeks will belong to a teenage boy who no longer needs to snuggle with his mommy.

Our 0-3month onesies look like muscle shirts. :)

sitting at the airport waiting on Uncle Gordy to arrive!

enjoying the beautiful fall weather on a Sunday afternoon

yes, we torture our baby in order to capture cute pictures.

the many faces of Dane

I hate tummy time!

meeting his great- great- grandma in the Nashville airport the day we flew to SC to see my sister marry the man of her dreams.

hailstones

In the past few days, things we have been praying for and seeking God's guidance for have come to fruition. Given, not at all how I thought they would, but nonetheless, He has made Himself abundantly clear.

When the dominoes started to fall last week, I was confused and scared. I could feel God's presence but I had trouble seeing Him through the fog satan had infused in the situation. I use this blog as a way to share Dane's growth and accomplishments, my feelings regarding things I'm studying in God's word and all of the mixed-up, crazy emotions that accompany being a first-time mommy. In a post I wrote last week, and have since deleted, I'm afraid that the raw words I spoke hurt the feelings of someone I care deeply for. I hope you know that is never my intention. I want to be able to use this as a place to share what's on my heart because I know that if I'm feeling it some other momma has to be feeling the same way, and she may need some reassurance that she's not going crazy. After all, that's why I read other mommy blogs. :)

I considered making this blog private in order to continue writing exactly what I wanted to. After contemplation and prayer though, that's not what I'm supposed to do. So, my posts may be a bit more guarded, and I definitely won't post something that I have reservations about, but at this time I feel a leading to continue writing and sharing my experiences as a momma and a Christian (and a Christian momma) with all who read. I was surprised by the number of people who emailed me asking to be included on the list of readers if I went private. You have no idea how encouraging that was! I love each of you, I really do.

In recent months I have been taken back to Joshua 10 numerous times and read and reread his Sun Stand Still prayer to God. Check it out if you haven't read it already. I knew that the God who created the heavens and the earth, who heals our sickness and gives mercy and grace that are new every morning could answer my Sun Stand Still prayer like He did Joshua's. For me, it was having the opportunity to be a full-time stay-at-home momma to our sweet baby boy. I have prayed daily for this, with tears streaming down my face... and a few times on my knees on my bedroom floor or weeping as I washed my hair in the bathtub (wish I was kidding about that one). I had a deep anxiety about going back to work and sending Dane to daycare. It was not because I hate daycares or hated my job. The anxiety I felt was so deep-set that I began to realize it wasn't just a normal anxiety. God had laid something on my heart and He and I had many a conversation about it.

Last week, a new phrase in Joshua 10 jumped off the page to me. It says that as the Israelites are being overwhelmed in the battle, God threw hailstones from heaven that killed more than the soldiers killed with their sword. And that's when it clicked in my mind. I (like I always do, darn it!) was praying and praying for God to make the sun stand still in my situation, but I was the one trying to make the sun stop! I could not win this battle unless God fought for me, not with me, as my side-kick or what not- it was His battle and only He could achieve victory.  The next morning I woke up with a peace I hadn't felt in weeks. I even told Tevie about it... and then he told me when he thought I should put in my letter of resignation at work. Ummm, come again? You mean, we're going to do this?! Still, we tried putting all the pieces in place in a timeline that worked for us and our bottomline.

I won't go into specifics, but in the last week God has thrown some HUGE hailstones and rocked my world. I have been humbled and amazed... and this morning as I watch my sweet boy kick and play and smile that gummy smile as he watches his mobile dance above his head, I am in awe of God's goodness and overwhelmed with tears of joy as I praise His name this morning. Yesterday we stepped out on faith, still unsure exactly how things are going to work for us but trusting that God is the creator and sustainer of all and that He will provide exactly what we need when we need it. Today I'm reminded of a song that says, "but the lamp unto my feet only moves when I move." So we moved, and as of October 31, I'll be a full-time stay-at-home mom.

This morning my reading was from Matthew 8. In The Message, Jesus' words to Roman captain who meets him on the road and asks Him to heal his servant are these: "Go. What you believed could happen has happened."

Beautiful words to this momma's heart as we rejoice and celebrate the beauty of the sun standing still in our lives. Please pray with us and for us as we adjust. And bear with me when my writing gets raw and emotional. All I ever want to show is the love of Jesus and how He's working in me.

Blessings,

Allysa

changes

The reason I started this blog nearly two years ago was to keep my family and close friends abreast of our life, and now, so they can watch Dane grow from many miles away. Beginning October 10, 2011, this blog will be private. If you would like to continue reading updates about Baby Dane and our life in the bluegrass state, please send me your email address at allysagooden@gmail.com

Blessings,

Allysa

a week in pictures

Dressed to impress and ready for our first plane ride last Friday!

I slept right through the security checkpoint and we sailed through (breastmilk and all!) like a champion!

 Aaaaand back to snoozing. :)

For some reason, US Airways takes the infant ticket when you board, so I snapped a picture of his first ever plane ticket.

 

I really was a good boy... here I was just waking up from the deep snooze I'd been in.

 We had the most wonderful time at mom and dad's. We did absolutely nothing but lay around in their beautiful new home. Here mom is getting ready to start waffles for breakfast.

 Dad and Dane snuggled on the couch while the rest of us played games at the kitchen table. (Dad is trying, unsuccessfully, to hide from the camera)

 Dane was much more alert on the flight home. Can you guess what he's staring at here? Yep, the reading lights.

 A fun-filled weekend, but oh, were we glad to be back home and back to our routine of snuggling with mommy in the morning after we kiss daddy could by and he heads to work.

 A belly full of milk makes for one sleepy boy.

 Wednesday Dane had his 2 month check-up. He's ready to face the day!

 Our big boy measured 24.5inches (98th percentile) and 10lbs 12oz (20th percentile). His head circumference is still in the 90th percentile. After this picture he got three shots and one oral vaccine. I did not take any pictures of his faces. It was heartbreaking. He screamed louder than I've ever heard. As soon as the nurse left I nursed him for a few minutes to help him calm down. When we got to the car he was cooing/moaning and talking to me.

 Shortly there after he was out!

 Later that night he was showing off how strong he was and bragging about his superhero bandaids. :)

 But oh, the day after shots. Yuck!! Poor sweet boy just wanted to be cuddled all day. So that's exactly what I did. He ran a fever off and on and was pretty much inconsolable. I'm not looking forward to the 4month shots...

 Thankfully, the next day we were feeling MUCH better and back to playing again!

 Saturday Tevie's parents came through town on their way to celebrate their 30th anniversary with a trip to the beach. We had a big greasy breakfast at Betty's OK Country Cooking (seriously, delicious!) and Papa T got in a snuggle before he left. :)

 We also puppy-sat for our neighbors and friends. Here Woody can't understand why he can't have any pie.

 And of course, no Saturday is complete without a three-hour nap.

 Couldn't you just eat those cheeks?!

 This big boy is already wearing his 3-6months outfits! This is a good thing because all of his 0-3 month stuff is very summery and it's turned cool here as of late.

 Long and skinny and totally kissable! Words can't express how much we love this sweet boy.