Still

I tend find that when I hear something over and over again, God is preparing me for something... or trying to get a message across. For example, for weeks before the fire, my daily Bible reading revolved around God's faithfulness and goodness. I heard over and over again, "I am Faithful, Allysa, I am always good and I am always in control." One Sunday on our way home from church, I even told Tevie that I felt as though I was being prepared for something hard, a tragedy, if you will... that I had this feeling that something was about to happen and I needed to be prepared... not because I had some psychic vision, but because, through repetition and other divine interventions, God was telling me that NO MATTER WHAT, He remains the same.

I heard someone say a few weeks ago that if you feel God is distant from you, it's because you moved. He never moves. Aren't you grateful for that? Grateful that we don't have to chase Him, that He isn't making us play some supernatural game of tag. He stands, arms wide open, patiently waiting for us as we throw our pity parties, follow the paths of the world, and search for fulfillment outside of His grace.

I don't know about you, but for me, song lyrics can speak to me in a way that spoken words can't. Maybe because I am so musically minded. If you put something to music, I can remember it. Weird, I know. It's been that way since I was a kid. During those weeks, or months, of preparation one song came up again and again. Which, to me, means it's important and I better listen. Here are the words and you can find the Hillsong United version here.

Hide me now

Under your wings

Cover me

within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm

Father you are king over the flood

I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul

In Christ alone

Know his power

In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm

Father you are king over the flood

I will be still and know you are God

The first time I heard this song I wept uncontrollably... in my car, of all places. The most comforting words in this song are the prepositions. Knowing that when life's storms are raging, Jesus and I are ABOVE them and He is King OVER the flood. "Who is this man that even the wind and waves obey Him?", his disciples asked. So, when I feel as though I am drowning, it's because I took my eyes off Jesus and began to sink. Now, we're human and because we have to live in chaos every day, it's going to feel like we're wading right through the middle of Hurricane Katrina. I find comfort in knowing that I'm not wading alone. There's Someone with a huge umbrella and (Praise Him!) a bigger paddle than mine, because I'm too weak to paddle the whole way.

In the words of my beautiful, precious, Jesus-lovin' friend, Kristin, I've been overwhelmed lately by the fact that Jesus is a pretty big deal... and most people have no idea. As I sat around with my dear girlfriends last night, we talked about just hard life is right now. How satan is at us from EVERY angle (that jerk!) but even in the midst of the mess, we have a peace that passes all understanding. My heart aches that there are people who don't know that peace. Who have no idea what life with a Savior is like.

I have no idea what's going on in your life right now. I know most days mine feels completely upside down. I'm exhausted, busy, depressed, joyful and various other emotions all in the same hour sometimes. I heard a preacher say one time that if you don't feel the devil hitting you head on, it's because you're moving in the same direction. SO, when satan attacks and attacks and attacks, I praise God because it means I must be doing something right!

Life.Is. HARD. But, praise be to God, He's in control and is weaving our current struggles into a beautiful tapestry, even though all we see right now is the messy, tangled underside.

Stay strong and keep the faith- the reward is SO worth it!

--Allysa