48 hours

In less than 48 hours we welcome our sweet little boy into this world. How has 38 weeks gone by so quickly?!

Thirty-six weeks ago tomorrow, the day after Thanksgiving, two whiny pups begged to go outside. It was before 6am and no one else was awake, seemed like a pretty good time to take a pregnancy test. After eight months of trying, I had stopped telling Tevie when I took a test. He didn't want me driving myself crazy. Since no one else was awake, I could sneak to the bathroom, take the test, get my stand-by "negative" and go on about my day without the embarrassment of telling my husband or anyone else what I was doing. 

I put the dogs out and ran to the bathroom. I laid the test on the counter and washed my hands, knowing what it was going to say. Only this time... it didn't. That heartbreaking straight line morphed before my eyes into a life-giving plus sign. I'm surprised I didn't wake up the whole family when I bounded up the stairs to wake Tevie. In my head I had planned all these sweet, romantic ways I would tell him I was pregnant but the shear excitement took over and I knew I couldn't wait longer than thirty seconds. 

I wish I would have taken a picture of his sweet expression as the sleepy fog cleared and he processed what that little sign meant. We squealed and hugged and spent the rest of the day in complete disbelief. We left his parents' house that afternoon and went home to decorate our home for Christmas. He was careful as he handed boxes down from the attic and said he didn't want to drop anything on his pregnant wife. Then he'd grin and we'd both kind of laugh because that idea was so strange. He'd stare at my belly and say, "There's a baby in there". I think it took us until that first ultrasound at 8 weeks- seeing that little gummy bear on the screen and hearing that loud, strong heart beat- to realize that we were having a baby.

When we walked out of the doctor's office in early December, August 2 felt so far away. There were some days when I just knew I was going to be pregnant for.ev.er. Before we knew it, we were 16 weeks along and heard our doctor say without a doubt, "See that? That's a boy!". Then we were 20 weeks- how were we already halfway there? In a blink we reached the third trimester... and in less than 48 hours, our sweet boy will take his first breath. The thing that scares me about time passing so fast while I'm pregnant is that I know it will pass even faster after he's born. 

Wasn't is just last summer that Tevie asked for my phone number for the first time? Wasn't it just yesterday we were planning our wedding? Wasn't it just last week we closed on our house? How have we already been together for seven years, married FIVE(!) years, and homeowners for three? How is my little brother getting his driver's permit and my sister getting married? I don't like all this growing up.

Last night, as usual, I lay down to sleep and Dane got the hiccups. It's the weirdest thing- it seriously happens a couple times a week, always when I lay down to sleep. My first thought was one of frustration, "but I'm tired, buddy, and I'm going to be up a minimum of two times to pee! I need to sleep"... Then I realized, I only have two more nights of hiccups, two more nights of four trips to the bathroom, two more nights of not sleeping on my belly. I have 48 hours to treasure every little move he makes in my belly. Forty-eight hours of not having to share him with anyone else. So, today I'm treasuring my swollen feet. I'm rubbing my belly all day. I'm tickling that little foot when it kicks me in the ribs. 

I'm taking in every smile, laugh and silly song my husband sings- his last before he's someone's daddy. I'm treasuring our final evenings of snuggling on the couch watching episode after episode of our latest Netflix addiction. My eyes well with tears when I see his excitement. My heart swells with love when he holds me close, rubs my belly and talks to Dane. I hope that Dane has his daddy's black curls and bright blue eyes, but I pray he has his gentle presence, loving heart and attitude of service and stewardship. There is no man in the entire world I would rather be the father of my children. He is everything I ever hoped for, dreamed of... and so much more. 

We have prayed for this sweet boy's perfection since before we knew he existed. In the name of Jesus, I have prayed away colic, reflux, and every other ailment I could think of. In the same great name of Jesus I have claimed that he will be a good sleeper, have a strong latch, that we will have a healthy delivery, quick recovery and that he is practically perfect in every way. I am truly amazed that you can love someone so much, even before you ever see their little face. 

Dane Gooden, you are loved to the moon and back. Enjoy your last few quiet hours in that warm, cozy, germ-free environment (can you tell I am STRESSED about germs and my sweet boy?!). You have more love waiting on you than you can possibly fathom in that 98th percentile brain of yours. 

We covet your prayers as we welcome our sweet boy this weekend. 

Blessings,

--Allysa