week 25

Today was our week 25 OB appointment and the anniversary of my mother-in-law's 29th birthday :) (Happy Birthday, Dana!!!). Little Man's heartbeat was 145- the lowest it's been so far. The nurse says that as long as it stays between 120 and 180 they are happy... something about reactivity and it being a good sign that it varies at each appointment. I got a yummy bottle of this weird sugary drink I get to enjoy before my 29 week appointment. Not looking forward to the 1 hour glucose test but it's par for the course. Only one more monthly appointment and then we're in the THIRD trimester and seeing the doctor every other week. How did this go by so quickly? August will be here before we know it. Tevie and I were talking about when we think he'll make his arrival. I think he'll come August 5. First, because that's three days after his due date and I figure he'll be his father's child and never in a hurry to do anything. Second, that's my sweet little brother's 15th birthday and I would love for them to share that special day. Tevie thinks he'll come right on time. Honestly, that is more like Tevie, he doesn't rush but he's never late either.

Heartburn/reflux have hit me full force in the last ten days. Nothing makes me feel better. So not an enjoyable experience. Hopefully that means this handsome little guy will be born with a head full of beautiful hair and not with a big ugly bald head like his momma and daddy were. :)

Here's the belly at week 25 before heading to church on Sunday. If I position my phone just right when I take the picture it hides the double chin I'm working on. :)

I was a bachelorette this weekend while my sweet hubby was away on a Walk to Emmaus. An amazing spiritual experience- you should check it out if you've never been. I hate being home alone, but God surrounded me with amazing encouragement and truth this weekend. Plus, I had a fluffy little companion keeping Tevie's side of the bed warm and occupied. She may not have missed daddy... she much prefers a pillow to her crate at night. 

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gain his soul

What is the single most important thing you'd like your child to gain from religion?

A firm belief in God or a higher power Knowing right from wrong and other moral values To be saved/go to heaven A sense of identity A sense of community

This is a question in a poll I took on an online mom community. The single most important thing I want my son to gain from religion? First, I don’t want him to have a religion. I want him to have Jesus. Second, what if none of those things are the single most important thing I hope he gets from that relationship with Jesus?  Let me finish my thought before, as we say in the South, “you get your panties in a wad”.  

To be saved/go to heaven

Of course I want my son to go to heaven. I think that all Christians, in fact I'd go as far as to say everyone wants to go to heaven. And of course we should live our lives with a heaven-ward focus. But if you read the words of Jesus in the New Testament, it’s not about YOU going to heaven, it’s about doing all you can to make sure EVERYONE in the world goes with you! The GREAT commission (Matt28:19) commands us to GO and make disciples of ALL nations. This is a veeeeery hot topic for me right now. My heart is pierced and convicted by the fact that I simply do not do enough to spread the Kingdom to the ends of the globe… ahhh, but that’s another post entirely.

A firm belief in God or a higher power

In my experience in walking with the Lord, it takes more than believing He exists- you have to TRUST Him. Many, many people believe in God- in fact, James 2 says that’s great, “you do well to believe God is one” but  “the demons also believe, and shudder.” I want more for him than belief in the one, true God I want him to trust the one, true God and follow him wholeheartedly all the days of his life.

Knowing right from wrong and other moral values

I think the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "Christian" is the idea that they have good moral values. I wouldn’t associate knowing right from wrong with this, I would hope that everyone over the age of 5 knows right from wrong- whether or not they choose to do it is another thing, I guess. There are numerous, Christian moral values that I want my son to have- generosity, integrity, loyalty, etc. More than just these though, I want his life to exhibit the Fruits of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (and yes, I just sang the song as I typed those out).  When you are trusting in God (not just believing) and following (better, pursuing) Him passionately, the fruits of the spirit inevitably show up and we are then convicted to put them to work because faith without works is dead (James 2). 

A sense of identity/A sense of community

Having a sense of who I am in Christ and knowing that I belong to a community of believers are two of the greatest things about being a Christian. They are. The single most important? Nah. But they are good. We live in a world that does not understand, or often approve, of the things we do in the name of Jesus. Here lately as my husband and I try to describe to people that we are trying to live radically for Jesus by spending less on us so we can spend more for the Kingdom’s works, people look at us like we’ve lost our minds. (Sidenote: DO NOT READ RADICAL by David Platt, CRAZY LOVE by Francis Chan, THE HOLE IN OUR GOSPEL by Rich Stearns AND THE NEW TESTAMENT IN SUCCESSION. YOU WILL BE CONVICTED AND IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. At least I hope so, because if not you have heart made of stone.)

 “What do you mean you’re getting rid of TV?” “How do you downsize from a 1700 square foot home?” “You didn’t have a yard sale, you just gave that stuff away?” And just when I get to the point that I think they are right, I am crazy, I need all this stuff… God sends me some other radical goofball to encourage me and I am again motivated to work toward living the life Jesus called us to (Thank you, Prathers and Mark Weaver!). As if scripture isn’t enough to convict you that this life is NOT ABOUT YOU, there is line from Radical that breaks my heart every time I think on it. "There is never going to come a day when I stand before God and he looks at me and says, ‘I wish you would have kept more for yourself.’"

Never. There is never going to come a day when my Savior looks at me and says those words. There will however be a day when He says, "Why didn't you help the hurting, clothe the naked, mother the motherless, feed the hungry? You didn't have enough time and money? What about all that I gave you? It was more than enough to grow my Kingdom and serve my people." I do not want Him to be looking at me when he says those words. In fact, my laptop may short out because giant tears are streaming into my keyboard as I type those words. I do not want to hear those words and I do not want those I love to hear those words from His lips either.  

So, what is the single most important thing I want my son to gain from religion a relationship with God? How about his soul. Abundant Life. Not a belief in a God but a trust in God, not the knowledge of right and wrong and other moral values but the fruits of the spirit and a faith in action. Not just to go to heaven but take all of the 3 billion non-believers in this world with him. Not just to have a sense of identity and community but to encourage community and identity in Christ among his family, friends and social circles. 

The single most important thing he can gain from a relationship with God is not to live the American Dream and make much of self, but to live the Gospel Dream and make much of God. 

Lord, I want to make much of you so my son desires to make much of you, too. 

a day of rest

After an emotional and Spirit-filled worship service, the Fox Family invited us and the Kelley Family to spend a day on the houseboat. A perfect way to spend this 87-degree spring day. 

Last year Emily introduced me to Frances Kelley. We share a love of Broadway, Beth Moore and Jesus and both have an innate sense of worry and bossiness. :) Tevie and I are so sad to see her, Phillip and their sweet girls, Caroline and Madelyn move to Kansas City next month but feel so blessed to have had them in our lives if even for short time. God knew exactly what I needed when he brought me Frannie. I'll forever cherish our late night chats on Emily's couch and her encouragement during my Walk to Emmaus.  

We enjoyed every last drop of sunshine on beautiful Lake Cumberland.  Though the weather was in the upper 80's, the water was ffffffreeezing! That did not deter three of the tiny divas from getting their feet wet. 

Caroline leaving her mark on a rock

Jason helps the girls ashore. If you magnified this picture you'd see Vivi's cute little bottom covered in sand and rocks. So sweet! :)

Tevie watching the girls from the top deck of the Restoration

our blissful view for the afternoon

no place like home

You may remember that back in September my parents lost their home to a fire. You can read about it here. Well, it's been a long, cold winter but progress is being made! The contractor says they could be in by June/July. I've never known anyone to move in when the contractor says, but that's encouraging none the less. They could be settled in by the time our Little Man arrives and before Brynnie walks down the aisle in October.

It has been a very difficult year for my family. Though they moved into a rental home soon after the fire, you never really feel settled. satan has tried to destroy relationships, tried to make us focus on what we don't have instead of what we do and tried to plant the seed of doubt about whether or not our God is control. But he has FAILED. Miserably. God continues to show his faithfulness to my family and we continue to grow closer together. 2010 ended with news of a marriage and a baby. We have total confidence that God works all things for good for those who love him and are called according to His purpose.

To my Buttercup

Six years ago, we waited patiently for her daddy to come through those doors and announce boy or girl. I ate an entire bag of mini Reese's peanut butter cups during the six hours her mommy was in labor. 

I love you more than words can say, my little Buttercup. You have a heart of gold, an innate sense of style and a keen sense of pitch and musical ability that I envy. You're a pretty awesome kid and it has been a privilege to watch you grow. Happy 6th Birthday, Lain Briann! Wish I was there to spend it with you!

rotten

Who doesn't love a good puppy picture? While I was traveling for work and their daddy slaved away around the house vacuuming and doing the dishes (I mean, really, how awesome is he?!), this is what the mutts were up to. They are very good foreman. "You got this, dad? Then we'll relax." Binx looks like he's saying, "What? You mean these plush leather arms weren't meant for me to sleep on?"

We HAVE to move Little Man's rocker out of the living room! First Tevie claimed it, now the pups. At least we know it will be plenty comfy for those late night feedings. :)

weekend to remember

Tevie and I enjoyed the most awesome weekend in Franklin, TN at the Weekend to Remember conference last weekend. Can't you always tell when you're doing God's work? Isn't that when satan hits you the hardest? We had quite a trip down there... 

Nashville/Franklin is roughly a two hour trip from our house. Since we were meeting our friends for dinner at 5:30, we decided to head out a little before 3pm, leaving time to drop our bags in the room before meeting up with the group. For the first time in my pregnancy, I had the most awful heartburn. I climbed into the truck in a terribly grumpy mood. By 3:30 I had already reached my daily allowance of Tums and was looking for some other source of relief. An hour into the trip we stop for gas, and thinking we're at the other state line exit, I tell Tev to turn left. We end up a gas station that not only costs more per gallon, but it isn't a truck stop so the pump shuts off at $75. Not a good thing when you drive a mega-tank like ours. :) I run into to go the bathroom and grab a little thing of milk (brings mucho relief for me, weird I think) and find my husband has thrown my wallet in the floor in search of my Kroger card, which you can use at Shell gas stations and get the $.10/gallon discount. Apparently he couldn't get it to work so he'd chucked them both into the floor. :)

Hungry and ready to be in Nashville we hit the road again... and sit in traffic on I-65 for.ev.er. Apparently every family in a 600-mile radius was headed south for spring break. After almost 90 minutes in traffic we miss our dinner reservations and end up eating Chik-fil-a. Not a terribly bad thing because we love it and don't have it in our happening metropolis of 1800 people. Finally, we arrive at the hotel. I check us in using my Marriott Rewards number... apparently, that doesn't mean a hill of beans to the girl behind the counter. All of the king beds are gone... "how about a room with two doubles?", she asks. I thought my poor husband would flip his lid. Long before I started looking like this (here's your week 24 belly update):

My sweet hubby and I take up every inch of our glorious king-sized bed and never.ever touch each other. I know he's there on the other side of the mound of pillows and dogs, and that's enough for me. :) But, hey, it's a marriage conference, so we can tough it out. 

We board the elevator to our room and that's where our story gets comical. For my birthday, my mommy bought me a beautiful Louis bag similar to this one

Now, while you always hope that you've hit the jackpot and scored a REAL Louis in a consignment shop, you have to assume that it's a fake and that's why you got such a great deal on it. It didn't matter to me, I was happy to be carrying my Louis (well, watching my hubby carry it) onto the elevator. Mind you, my birthday was Thursday, this is Friday. This is the FIRST time I have ever used this suitcase. 

Just like in all of your favorite romantic comedies, the elevator doors close and at that moment one of the handles falls completely off the bag. Tevie sighs very loudly and I try to brush it off. I'm sure I can fix it, right? He put the shoulder strap on his shoulder and... yep, that's right, it breaks too. So, our assumptions are correct- not real, because surely a real Louis could hold a weekend's worth of clothes and keep his handles on! It's hysterically funny now- not.at.all funny after the afternoon we've had!  Tevie practically kicks my bag down the hallway to our room and we both fall onto our tiny little bed breathing a sigh of relief that we've made it! :)

And that was the last moment we let satan any where near us during the weekend. Whether you are newly married, remarried or have been married for 50 years, this conference will definitely change the way you look at each other and how you look at your marriage relationship. 

It is no secret that I am painfully bossy. It sounds like a cop-out, but I just can't help it! Blame it on me being a first born child, spoiled, whatever. It is what it is. My bossy, control- freak attitude has caused more than one problem in our nearly 5-year marriage. Because when TWO firstborns get married, someone who has always done the bossin' is going to have to step out of the way and let someone else take the lead! Ugh. And it was NOT going to be me. 

Through the coursework for the conference and months and months of scripture study and prayer, God has revealed a lot to me about my attitude. My sweet husband is a gift and God wants me to respect and submit to this man He has given me to share my life with. I have prayed and prayed and prayed that God would make my husband the spiritual leader of our household. And do you know what I was doing the WHOLE time? Running the show! How on earth can I expect him to do it when my control freak mentality takes over and I think I can do it better? 

If I learned nothing else from the weekend, this one thing has stuck with me and been on my mind every single day since we got home. The Greek word for submission in Ephesians 5:22 is actually a military term. This particular form of the word was used when describing a situation with two officers of equal rank. In order to fulfill the mission at hand and for the betterment of the army as a whole, one officer submits to the other to see the entire army achieve victory. Not at all what our connotation of submission is, is it? When I take that view of submission, the idea that we are equal partners working toward a common goal and it is my duty to sometimes defer to Tevie to see that our family is successful, it's a WHOLE lot easier for me to do it!

And in case, there are any old schoolers out there who don't think we're of equal rank to our husbands- crack open your bible, my sweet friend. God created Eve to be Adam's helper (Gen 2:18). Not secretary, ironer, chef, dry-cleaner-picker-upper but his helper. This same word- in the Hebrew text- is used multiple times to describe the Lord and his relationship to us. 

Deuteronomy 33:29- "He is your shield and helper..."

Psalm 118:7- "The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies."

 Ladies, what a huge role we play in lives of our husbands and families! As you begin to look at your husband as a gift from God, it is so much easier to show him the respect a godly husband deserves. 


I am painfully, borderline obsessively clean person. Our kitchen counters are often sanitized, the toilets scrubbed weekly, tubs bleached every Saturday, I wash my toothbrush in scalding hot water before using it and wash my hands until they chap. However, I am not very neat always. When I finished getting ready in the morning my bathroom often looks like a war zone with make-brushes and flat irons and shoes every where. I kick my shoes off by the door when I come in, I leave my bobby pins in piles everywhere, and I mean to go back and put the half and half away after my coffee, but sometimes I just forget! These things drive my husband CRAZY! He is a man, and therefore, germs mean nothing to him. He would probably cut raw chicken on the cutting board and then use that knife to make a peanut butter sandwich... I'm exaggerating... I hope. When I started looking at cleaning up after myself as a way of showing my husband respect and letting him know how much I love him, it became so much easier to do. 


This week I have tried to be really intentional about picking up after myself. And do you know what? Yesterday, without ANY prodding from me, my husband came home on his lunch hour and vacuumed AND did the dishes! Now, I can't promise this great success for all of you, but we're sure celebrating in the Gooden house! He didn't do it because he had to, he did it as a way of showing his love for me. 


I am continually amazed at how God's word and His principles begin to seep deep into your heart when you spend time in the Word every day. You learn lots of helpful tips at a marriage conference but the one thing they try to hit home is that you must spend time in the Word and in prayer together. I love that this is a practice we've started and one our sweet baby boy will see lived out each day. Before facebook, before Sportscenter, before the weather outlook for the day, we make a point to spend even a few minutes in God's word. And, from my experience, it's what makes all the difference. Without God's word, we don't know His desire for our life, we don't know the fruits of the spirit, and without the fruits of the spirit, there is no desire to place others, particularly the one "other" you know more intimately than anyone else, before self. 


But, oh kids, do we have a long way to go! Thankfully the Lord is never finished with us. Tomorrow morning I'll awake with a clean slate and the chance to do it better than I did today. Praise the Lord for grace! :)


--Allysa

choosing life

I came across an article in which in a women details the abortion of her first child, a little boy who was diagnosed with Downs Syndrome at 22 weeks gestation. I was soooooo mad after reading it I almost couldn't think straight. As I write this, my son is doing somersaults (or hiccuping or something wild) in my belly. I say without a shadow of doubt in my mind that if Dr. Crosslin were to look at me tomorrow and tell me he was going to be born with an illness I would not even contemplate not bringing him into this world. 

I can't say that there aren't extreme circumstances in which that may be a reasonable option, I pray I never have to make that choice. I write not in judgment of this woman and her choice, but from the aching heart of a mother who can't imagine feeling my little boy kick and roll and punch one day and then willingly ending his life the next.

via

This is what my sweet baby boy looks like today. I can't imagine waking up tomorrow and deciding that whatever difficulties he would be born with would be too much to cope with. Perhaps what frustrates- and pains me- most is that this woman did not give God a chance to work in her child's life. I worship the one true God, the Great Physician and Healer. I watched two people I love very dearly receive a terrifying diagnosis when they were 30 weeks pregnant with their little boy. That sweet boy was born with a condition worse than the doctors had originally thought. I spent hours on my knees weeping and crying out loud to God to heal that precious boy's heart and make him whole. And He did. Luke is whole in Heaven today. Luke's mom and dad had the faith to believe that their God heals. They knew that if Luke lived his earthly life would be hard but that he was created by God on purpose and for a purpose and would fulfill an amazing calling. In fact, I think he managed to do more for the Kingdom in his 12 days than most of us do in 90 years. God reached the hearts of the more than 200,000 people who followed his story and countless others who rededicated themselves or came to Christ for the time. What if the Sextons chose not to birth Luke?

I sit here now wondering what kind of testimony the precious little boy from the article would have had. How would he have changed the world? Would he have won the 100 yard dash in the Special Olympics? Would he have been a tutor to other Downs Syndrome children? My heart aches over this but I find great comfort in knowing that the precious baby boy is being held in the arms of a loving Savior as we speak. He'll never stress over paying a mortgage, being teased at school, having his heart broken by love or losing someone he loves to death. If he had lived though, God would have used all of those trials to create a beautiful testimony.

It's no secret that I believe strongly on this matter. Serving on the board of a pregnancy center gives that away before I even mention my commitment to serve God more fully. There are no words to express the joy that fills my heart when I think about holding my sweet boy in less than 17 weeks. Even when I wish I was asleep at 4:30am, I can't help but smile as he kicks and stretches. I love the look in my husband's eyes when he feels our boy kick and watches my whole tummy bounce as our boy practices what must be baby tai-bo (he's got a mean kick!). There's truly nothing cooler in the world, except actually holding your baby, I guess. :)

Life just isn't easy. We were never promised that it would be. What God did promise was that we wouldn't have to do it alone. I pray you don't quit when circumstances are overwhelming. Sometimes the easy way out has the hardest consequences to deal with. When we lean on God for strength and keep trudging through as the waters rise, the reward is so great- often on earth, but definitely in Heaven. I have seen God heal in ways that are so supernatural He's the only one who could receive the glory for it. Pray those "sun stand still" prayers like Joshua did as he led the Israelites to battle. When we pour out all of our self, God is quick and willing to fill us with is power. 

Pray for healing for women who did not choose life. And while you're at it, pray for your local pregnancy center as they work to share God's love to their communities and encourage women to choose life. Be careful what you pray for though- you just mind end up knee-deep in that amazing ministry serving as a board chair, washing tubs and tubs of baby clothes and wishing you could give more each month. :)

--Allysa

Joshua 10:12-14 (NIV)

 ¹² On the day the LORD gave the Amorites over to Israel, Joshua said to the LORD in the presence of Israel:
   “Sun, stand still over Gibeon,
   and you, moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.”
¹³ So the sun stood still,
   and the moon stopped,
   till the nation avenged itself on^[a] its enemies,
   as it is written in the Book of Jashar.
   The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. ¹⁴ There has never been a day like it before or since, a day when the LORD listened to a human being. Surely the LORD was fighting for Israel!

172,800 minutes

Or 120 days

Or 3 months, 29 days

Or 10,368,000 seconds

Or 172,800 minutes

Or 2880 hours

Or 17 weeks until we have a baby!

Are worried about there being enough time left to get everything done?! Because I kinda am!!! 

Okay, deep breath. I am honestly not that worried, but seeing it written out does make my chest tighten a little. This perfectionist mama wants to have everything just so before our sweet boy gets here. A friend told me yesterday that I need to let go of some of that... she was talking about my weird paranoia over germs, but it applies to other stuff too, I think. :) PS: Just appease me and wash your hands before you ask to hold the baby. That way we avoid the awkward moment and I don't have to get one of those little signs to hang on his car seat that says, "Please wash your hands before touching mine". Some of you are laughing because you think I'm kidding... my family knows better.